...what i notice...

peeking out saying hello reminding me and myself of my

higher-ness

by the way

I am spewing forth & churning with new notions and noticing many
what-knots

and such. I don't know maybe this is what makes me so
l
e
t
h
a
r
g
I

c

yes wretched lethargy
curse its hide
it sucks that I am all withdrawn and catatonic

I feel like I need 3 months notice

A Lead Burka

A cinder block enclosure with lots of peep holes

And plenty of druggage even beginning to be comfortable

socializing

all these things in ordinary life

my stress intolerance

shuts me down

I remember high mind high mind high mind

my mantra

I am feeling all

weird and tired

I am thinking about asking someone

to come over here slap me

eyes on the moment

The days have been so beautiful
I would love to hit one from the gate

I have been doing a lot of brain work
you could say

I was prompted to do some writing on

the subject from some reading of the same

I practically felt my neural networks

pulling my thoughts along my investigation

One thing leading to another to another to another

Along comes infinity

I saw how all thought is one thought

As in, I have been thinking since I first noticed
and I still am

Checking each other out bouncing ideas off one another all the while I get brighter and brighter blue-prints

The cat has got my tongue my telephones tongue too

My other

Cat has the rest of us asimmer in witches brew

It is kind of like being in a state

that is of great enjoyment euphoric in a big stick, summer day kind of way

One that you do not want interupt anytime soon

I am Thinking Jubilantly Exhuberant Refreshing Thoughts

The Reality of Truth

Giving yourself permission to be crazy
Is acknowledging that you are
Which is, of course, acceptance

The Birth of Light

Confusion over what is worthy of meaning to me

Throughout the history of being me I have assigned meaning to many things that were based in an unreality/a deception. Consequently, I suffer a great amount of uncertainty when trying to now assign meaning to anything.

This is another required class so to speak, in my endeavor to be rid, and finely shake that haunting, omnipresent shadow of a black dog...I have so many lessons. So much work. I've finally realize I have to learn to accept this personality disorder as something I have to submit to and adjust my life accordingly.

moments as a person

I see endless crazy patterns of insanity as I look across the time

and spaces I have occupied

If you could see me you'd spy a widow head to toe in her mourning gown

Therapy for the deeply disturbed is deeply disturbing

Especially for the experiencer

Were I an investment firm I'd look back and see losses in the billions

For a God it would be like losing 7/8th of her creation

Stolen! Right from under your nose

The outrage is overwhelming

I'm tired boss

Letters A Thousand Feet High

I am surely saddened over my therapeutic relationship with my Dr coming to a close
It is amazing to me the way I am affected by it
I have never felt these things before and I say my goodness are they not anything but huge
Being that they are so big they come with much knowledge and experience to aid me as I negotiate my way across this wild plain

I really feel truly graced in knowing that I am a student worthy of such a teacher

I think the thing that makes it especially hard to say goodbye to this teacher is that I cannot imagine finding another to even come close in comparison to him

He is surely an otherworldly creature and to encounter one as such is a one in a billion chance

I mean how lucky could I be to rate so well again?

Such are my thoughts, and fears and anguishes

I do really good when I remember to not believe everything that I think

I found my last Fridays' visit with Dr to be a very soothing and satisfying as well as revealing as always

I look and see a depth in his eyes that is peerless in description
I see a place in there that feels more like home than home does
I rest there as I never have in my life
finding solace and sanctuary unparalleled and thrice unimagined on this fiercesome mortal coil

It is virtually impossible for me to become ground
As a matter of fact the week prior has left me so tired as trying to function when you cannot feel anything, especially the ground is exhausting

I don't want to face the reality of the pain that is encased in this parting

And this time the dissociative state is especially tempestuous
It is relentless in its many charms and in fact has me laced up in pleasures I had no prior taste of

Having me to wonder, what else does this siren have up her bottomless sieve?

With the effort of the kings army I respond to my Drs coaxing and I am back from the place of artificial escape

But it could not be so I realize, without my doctor and I feel the pain of reality trying to draw me back up out and away again
It is a great effort but I manage to stay 77 percent there
Holding on to that gaze of his like a life raft

Why do you want to leave so bad Moondrop?
Cause Dr I am in a state of grief so big to block the sun
He says is it because our therapy will soon end ?
And to that I say yes I grieve for you
I will miss you so much
Gosh I feel it now
The temptation to escape is maddening in its seductivity

In my illusions of delusion he comes to me right now
There he is in my house looking into my eyes
He reaches out and I easily feel his encouraging hand
He says, do not fall asleep Moondrop, come on, and let’s go
And I do, I hold his hand cause I know he knows the way

Minessa's Travels Through a Town Called Tyler

I get the feeling that I am at least one thousand one hundred and one one-hundredth of a thousand steps ahead of the game

I ask again just how many steps I am ahead of this game?

I can be the shiniest thing in sight

I am surprised a giant crow hasn't scooped me up

And added me to his goody cache of shiny things

The Contemplating of Knowledge

I feel it is my duty, my responsibility as a person to learn all I can about everything I can.
As if it is somehow incumbent upon me
To contribute what I learn
To all
Of Humanity

Sand Art (click on Image for full view)

You are what you think of all day

You are what you think of all day You are what you think of all day

You are what you think of all day

Space in Togetherness

Corral Reef

Flora Italia

Snail Trails

Backdrop to a Dream

Color of Shadows

Pond Creatures

Dream sleep