eyes on the moment

The days have been so beautiful
I would love to hit one from the gate

I have been doing a lot of brain work
you could say

I was prompted to do some writing on

the subject from some reading of the same

I practically felt my neural networks

pulling my thoughts along my investigation

One thing leading to another to another to another

Along comes infinity

I saw how all thought is one thought

As in, I have been thinking since I first noticed
and I still am

Comrades In Arms

I am awfully depressed and do suffer terribly with sadness, so much pain something fierce

you know the feeling

which means you know the feeling
and that means
you relate
and i relate

we are here to show our comrades great things, comrade

bring out the best in each other, one another

it's my aim even during spells of madness

Dear Universe, Thanks for helping me get smarter, but sheesh already,

Do you have to insist on being such a heartless tyrant?

Your lessons although priceless and brilliant are relentless in their level of difficulty and since I have earned quite a bit of seniority on the scene, I feel it is high time you re-visit your lesson plan

You've got my attention you know





You can stop yelling at me now

Momentum of Resistance

I can see through all of it
Just like air through air
Hurry asteroid!
The Planet is Hell
Run by Bastards

The 13 Moon Calendar

It occurred to me that perhaps the entirety of my psychological unrest, rests on the fact that I have bought into the idea of the Gregorian Calendar. I've bought it lock, stock and barrel...hook line and stinker. I have a receipt for the whole nine yards of it.

I am very avail to set my self up to start using an alternative. The 13 Moon Calendar of days and times, places and people yon past seems much more conducive to me.

I think it is worth a try. I mean I would try anything to gain some perspective on this madness.

Time has NEVER made sense to me.

It really could be my problem.

The very crux of it all...

The Problem With Being Crazy

Sometimes I think my sadness will overwhelm me to the point that my heart will break
Literally break
Shatter
Explode

It starts pounding and racing
and aching

Then I start worrying that it could really happen, and it makes me calm down, so I won't break it, cause if my heart really breaks I would surely die

All this just happened right now. I sometimes get triggered from a flashback to a time of past terror. I have lots of skills to combat flashbacks and I practice them intervening on my behalf, a lot of the time. But sometimes my skills don't work. Nothing works. And I start my hysteria...the downward spiral crossed the point of no return.

And I cry and I feel it...my heart certainly gets a good workout at least, right? Haha the optimist has come back!

I love mood swings...