Learning what anxious is...

For a full day after my last psychotherapy visit, I was very anxious and upset. Tyler and I talked about Dror and that stirred up the huge cauldron of emotions that I have tied to him. I have come away from that therapy/client relationship with my Dear Dr Dror with many unresolved expressions, feelings, emotions, etc.etc... Time has been good to me as far as distancing the heartbreak of our parting. But to stir it up, investigate it, study it like we did, brought so much of it back to me. It has been a year more or less that I became aware, on heavy levels that I was soon to be without him. The particular placement of the planet at this time of year does something to stir up my feeling towards him too I see. the particular placement of the planet this time of year...that effect is very worthy of reflection. Places on Earthly planes of perspective are recollective of instances gone by, so it only serves to reason that the orbit of the earth, the specific places in its oblique circle, stir up memories and images much the same way...aaah Dror...I reflect upon you so much, you have to be a satellite of mine...

Orphan Doomed to be a Perpetual Child

I have no inner guidance system
No outer guidance system
So in my childish mind I start seeking out patterns
Like stepping stones in the outer world to cling to
To navigate with
I am a rudderless wandering
Compass less wonderer

My inner guidance system is
That tiny little voice that says
You know I know the way
Why you don't tune into me more
I can't understand

Squeaks, Chirps, Caws and General Freak Noises

Why is it when I think of a "marshmallow factory" I sense an onslaught of a potential existential crisis arising? Is it because I'm just bent that way? You know... inclined toward becoming cross-eyed, catatonic and ungrounded over such things?

I guess it's really not the marshmallow factory as much as it is imagining the place, the people, the product.

There is definitely a lot tied to these jet-puffed confections...