and really shouldn't be read if you are apt to shades of blue...
I have multi-trauma junk stuck way far back from my brain stem to my tortured neo-cortexThis causes a huge interference with the electrical circuitry in my cells
Especially in the command center
My goal is to rewire me
I love the idea of positive thinking and
the realization that what you focus on becomes your life
I think of those ideas when I have up moods
The traumas I endured
Lasted for way too many years
And I got to the point where I really
really really really
wanted to be dead
The thought of my demise was an obsession
As in I thought about it constantly
Not wanting to die of course
I was just so tired tired tired
of those haunting images
The relentlessness of it all
The only way I could see to make it
Stop was to go to sleep and never wake up again
Cause being nothing would be
At least relief
UPDATE:
I'm feeling much better now
As I said before, I am with you. I may be of slightly different thoughts and upbringing, belief process and mental constitution, but I feel a connection with you somehow, even if that is to simply be supportive of you in your inner turmoil. I am here for you.
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautiful thing...I am here for you. Very nice to know as at times I am quite alone in this turmoil of mine. I have come a long way since I first started addressing these troubles. I ran from them before cause I knew they had fangs and long claws. I faced them one day and since then those monsters have been shriveling because of the light I find. Thank you =)
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