Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Problem With Being Crazy

Sometimes I think my sadness will overwhelm me to the point that my heart will break
Literally break
Shatter
Explode

It starts pounding and racing
and aching

Then I start worrying that it could really happen, and it makes me calm down, so I won't break it, cause if my heart really breaks I would surely die

All this just happened right now. I sometimes get triggered from a flashback to a time of past terror. I have lots of skills to combat flashbacks and I practice them intervening on my behalf, a lot of the time. But sometimes my skills don't work. Nothing works. And I start my hysteria...the downward spiral crossed the point of no return.

And I cry and I feel it...my heart certainly gets a good workout at least, right? Haha the optimist has come back!

I love mood swings...

2 comments:

  1. the world is in turmoil and we can't help but feel the tension within our minds and hearts...that is normal. Also, you have a brilliant mind, and that, my friend, is all it takes to be at times, overwhelmed. You are able to see the mad-beautiful scheme of things...it's almost enough to make you snap, then, out of the blue, you're given hope.

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  2. aaah it is too true...i can see the mad-beautiful scheme of things...
    thinking it is good and bad at the same time...

    crackpot...that name's funnycutesweet...it makes me smile

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